hello i am cake or jadey i am a resident evil speedrunner and sometimes source games or other things
i fixate or find interesting. i used to play fps games and aim trainers (unfortunately i was good at those)
i am also a retired and burnt out musician and photographer
this site is currently just for putting words in void

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waiting for what..?

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"and everything is still worth it and worth fighting for even when you don't feel that it is"

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you mean the whole world to me, everything bagel.

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i went out with my dad today. i love you dad.

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nearly there

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do you believe in love? i'm scratching my eyes out.

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i played through life is strange and cried like a dumbass

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i'm not chasing after anything

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got job :( ... or :) ?

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it's been a year without you. i wish you were here to help me through all this. i know you'd kick me in the ass when i needed someone to give me a push. i always wonder how much easier things would be with you.

i feel like this past year has just been so horrid that i haven't really even truly felt the impact of losing you. it's hurt me in ways that aren't direct. rather, in ways that months later i realise "that period of time was actually just a strange, twisted effect of grief". there aren't any long words i can use to convey anything important. the ink is dry. i just miss you. i'm just about forgetting what you sounded like.

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i'm being courted with the divine gift of elden ring

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i'm trying to go out on more walks again. i sort of miss my fucked-up-sleep-schedule walks. the sky is a lavenderish grey and it feels like everything will be okay in the end. i will look back on these last months and years as my absolute lowest point.

it's also my sister's birthday. happy birthday. i wish i wasn't so isolated so we could spend more time together. i'm not sure what you think of me.

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it's my birthday. happy birthday me

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and maybe i'm just scared

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i guess it's normal to miss him sometimes

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my life has been destroyed by my own choices. i want to go back. i want to see you all again

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miss you

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uggghgghghgjhkafjkhdgfkgajfg aawawawawawawawawawawawaaaaaa You are driving me insane

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good but scared

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