hello i am cake or jadey i am a resident evil speedrunner and sometimes source games or other things
i fixate or find interesting. i used to play fps games and aim trainers (unfortunately i was good at those)
i am also a retired and burnt out musician and photographer
this site is currently just for putting words in void

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waiting for what..?

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"and everything is still worth it and worth fighting for even when you don't feel that it is"

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you mean the whole world to me, everything bagel.

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i went out with my dad today. i love you dad.

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nearly there

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do you believe in love? i'm scratching my eyes out.

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i played through life is strange and cried like a dumbass

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i'm not chasing after anything

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got job :( ... or :) ?

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it's been a year without you. i wish you were here to help me through all this. i know you'd kick me in the ass when i needed someone to give me a push. i always wonder how much easier things would be with you.

i feel like this past year has just been so horrid that i haven't really even truly felt the impact of losing you. it's hurt me in ways that aren't direct. rather, in ways that months later i realise "that period of time was actually just a strange, twisted effect of grief". there aren't any long words i can use to convey anything important. the ink is dry. i just miss you. i'm just about forgetting what you sounded like.

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i'm being courted with the divine gift of elden ring

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i'm trying to go out on more walks again. i sort of miss my fucked-up-sleep-schedule walks. the sky is a lavenderish grey and it feels like everything will be okay in the end. i will look back on these last months and years as my absolute lowest point.

it's also my sister's birthday. happy birthday. i wish i wasn't so isolated so we could spend more time together. i'm not sure what you think of me.

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it's my birthday. happy birthday me

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and maybe i'm just scared

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i guess it's normal to miss him sometimes

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my life has been destroyed by my own choices. i want to go back. i want to see you all again

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miss you

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uggghgghghgjhkafjkhdgfkgajfg aawawawawawawawawawawawaaaaaa You are driving me insane

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good but scared

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the leaves are wilting, the air smells like rain and you've started to forget about me

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and i'm changing for the better!
and i'm changing for the better!
and i'm changing for the better!
and i'm changing for the better!
and i'm changing for the better!
and i'm changing for the better!
and i'm changing for the better!

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my world has ended a thousand times
happy birthday mom

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picking at my wounds

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maybe i was never made to be anything. you were stationary

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dancing with tears in my eyes

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i was not made for this kind of test. i unravel

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twenty

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